Final Interview Day!

Today was our final interview day. We have one step left to approval; CORE training. We should be attending CORE training, signing our paperwork and active on July 9th. But today, today was 'the interview', you know the one where you answer questions about your past and relationships separately and confidentially... Well, after 13 years of marriage - we already knew each others answers. But it was still an interesting experience to go through again. Again, you ask - well yes, again. Read on.

We left early, stopped for doughnuts in Greeley and drove leisurely down to the LDS FS office. We arrived early intending to go to the cannery to load up on sugar and flour. We had everything filled out only to find that they are closed on Fridays! Ah, darn. We decided that we will stop by again on our way back from Arizona in a few weeks.

As we sat in the shade of the trees in the parking lot, we chatted about what we were expecting the interview to be like, what they might ask, how we felt about it. We watched K, our case worker, pull in, unload his car, reload a car, buzz around front, run inside. I commented to R that he seemed to be very over worked. He is always in a meeting, on the phone, out doing a visit, getting back from a visit. Seems like he just goes and goes and goes. I pondered out loud, “I wonder if he likes his job. I know he gets paid, I wonder if the fulfillment of making eternal families everyday makes up for all of the stress.” R assured me that K must be one of the most blessed people we will ever know. He, for a living, gets to help families come together, for eternity. Can you imagine? What an amazing thing to behold once, but to be part of and behold it again and again. I am in awe of K and his dedication to his job, beliefs and the eternal principles that we hold near and dear to our own hearts. K's sweet personality and strong testimony of the truth of what he does permeates everything around him. We feel comforted just being near him and having him help us through this process.

We met with K, finished our paperwork and went through our interviews. It was painless and actually pleasant. K helps make this process comfortable. People keep asking me how the paperwork is going and I keep saying that it is fine. They ask if we have questions, no – not really. It is funny because when I started working in Law Enforcement R and I both had to go through intense interviews, they dug into our past – deep, deep into our pasts – and I did a polygraph test, twice. Compared to that, this process is peachy! There is nothing in our past that has not already been dug through and sifted, held to light and examined. We are comfortable with who we are, the paths that have taken us to the place we stand today. We stand together, as one, united and together walk our path in life; we walk together through all things. We are very at peace with this process and our present place; we receive daily verification that we are on the right path, that there is a Birth Mother out there, somewhere for us, that we will be re-united and will be able to start our family with her help.

We left the city, did some grocery shopping and came home. I was a bit swollen when we got back, so I went to lie down. Our dear neighbors (I use the word neighbor loosely), brought us dinner. I cried – they are so thoughtful and helpful to us over the past weeks. Our neighbors, Sandy and Dan Carter live about 4 miles east and 5 miles south of us on 100 acres. They are just on the other side of ‘town’. As members of the church who share the same values and lifestyle we do, they are a blessing to us. We are learning from them and them from us. I cried from their honest care and concern for us. I cried from their ability to know we needed their help and their ability to hear and heed the spirit. We are so blessed.

The road we travel

I have been home since Sunday night and the reality of the surgery didn't start to hit me until today. My neck and back pain is gone and has been replaced by a plate and 2 screws! My pain has also been temporarily replaced by foggy drug brain and choking but the pain is less, no more tingling fingers.

Overall, surgery went well and I am glad to be home. I was released 2 days later than originally anticipated and had some unforeseen complications. When the doctor came in on Sunday and told me they were going to keep me until Monday, I revolted! No way! I am done, I am leaving, just tell me what I need to do and I will do it... After a hard push on Sunday and a battery of tests, some pleading and begging on my part, I was released late in the day and able to come sleep in my own house with my animals and the smell of fresh healing country air. I am happy to be home and be back to living my life on my schedule and according to my timeline. It was hard to be gone from home for 2 extra days, extra unplanned days! My Family came to bat with the chores and endless things that needed to be done while I was out.

I started taking over some of my chores today, mainly the milking. I hadn't realized how much I enjoy the time outside, doing things around the house and for the animals. I also didn't realize how many chores there are! We are taking it slowly but are making it work. I am getting up a bit more each day, but like I said, taking it slowly. I have a new pain in the back of my neck, not sure what it is related to but trying not to aggravate it. I figure it must be part of the healing process. I'll take it easier tomorrow and maybe, just maybe I can talk the man into treating me to a short drive to town.

My time in the hospital gave me ample time to reflect on the many blessings I have. On the many ways Heavenly Father has prepared me to be in here, in this position at this time. The way that all of our small travels have gotten us down this road to recovery; not only physical but spiritual and emotional as well. We have come to know in our heart of hearts that we are blessed, blessed to be together and blessed to be living where and how we do. I am over taken by tears when I think of each individual trial, all of our losses and successes that have brought us here. We are on the correct path and only need to follow the road to the end. Endure, that is the final part of the puzzle. Who knew one word could hold so much power...

*****
Adoption:
We had our home visit today. Kelly, our case worker, came by to take a look around the place and chat with us a bit. I had not realized how stressed out I was about having someone come into my home and judge me. I know he isn't 'judging' me per-se and he has done tons of these visits but I wonder what specifically catches his eye and what specifically does he take note of. I wonder what crossed his mind when he realized that he was in the middle of nowhere but not far from town. I know without a doubt that Kelly is called of God to be a Case Worker and that he has been blessed with powers of observation to help make Heavenly Father's families reunite.

I wonder; does he have a sense of the match that will be made? Does he know in some part of his being what type of Birth Family will be attracted to each couple? I wonder how much his job weighs on his mind and how he copes with the excitement and release on a regular basis. We are blessed to be working with Kelly and are grateful for his expertise.

It is funny, we didn't frantically clean or put things away. After just coming home from the hospital the place was a bit rough around the edges compared to how it might normally be, but this is reality! I am glad Kelly was able to look past the cluttered counters and hopefully see the Family we are trying to build. We feel blessed to have met and be working with Kelly. He is an inspiring spirit and a fountain of wisdom. We are humbled that he even considers us worthy to take part in an adoption.

It seems as though we are surrounded by people who just delivered, are pregnant, have just received their placement or will be adopting in the next 2 months. I am thrilled for all of them and wish them the best. It is truly exciting to see so many families being started and completed through this miracle of adoption and at the hand of Heavenly Father and Kelly. We will continue to have faith that Heavenly Father will bless us with our child at the right time and when we are sufficiently prepared. I have faith - I must have faith, for without faith, there can be no hope.

*****
Website:
We have gotten some questions about our website that I thought I would share. Our website is coming along, although not quite on the timeline we expected. Somehow that doesn't surprise me or bother me. It seems as though nothing in our lives travel the anticipated time lines we have set.

Our website will encompass many areas, only one of which is adoption. We already have our blog and very soon will have our profile posted on the LDSFS website. We want Birth Mothers to know as much about us as possible and what a better way then a few pages on a website?! Yes, our profile will be up on LDSFS but we are limited in how much we can share and it can be overwhelming to view so many profiles and blogs while contemplating adoption.

We talk about adoption in our blog but our blog is mainly to share the goings on in our daily lives with friends and family who live far away and want to know about our latest adventure - it also saves me a ton of time in email! The Adoption portion of the website will only be geared towards sharing about us, our lives and families as a Birth Mother would like to know. Don't get me wrong, I want to get our names and information out there so our Mother will be able to find us but we are also private people and like to keep things of our lives private. I cannot imagine handing out business cards and putting magnets on my truck advertising our adoption intent. Dearest Birth Mother, where ever you are, I hope and pray that we will meet soon!

Secondly, we live on a ranch and have Purebred goats that we sell each year. Our website will assist us in selling these animals and will open new opportunities for breeding that may not otherwise be available. Gunner is a stud colt who may or may not remain intact. If we choose not to geld him, we will use the website to promote his stud services.

We also have a "Country Life' Section (this might be the part that I am most excited about!). It will cover gardening, food storage, self sufficiency, our animals, crafts, sewing, recipes, cooking, photography and just general suggestions shared from us and our readers to help teach skills and crafts that will enable one to engage in a self sufficient life and making the most of what you have. We are excited to have this portion of the website dedicated to a lifestyle that we are coming to embrace and so many others want to share.

Surgery... again?!

I took a bad fall back in March and wound up with a badly herniated disc and moderately severe stenosis of the C7 nerve root and spinal cord. In English, I fell and hurt my neck, badly. The pressure from the herniated disc is pushing on the nerves that control my left shoulder, arm and hand. It is also pushing on the spinal cord. They did a grip test, 95 pounds of pressure in my right hand (average for women if 78 - I am super woman!) 35 pounds of pressure in my left hand (average for women is 68 - I am wimpy). I have muscle weakness in my arms also - I dropped the cat. They tried the grip test again after traction and I had 95 and 65, so improved but not nearly as much as they expected. Based on my right arm, they would expect my left to be somewhere around 87ish. We have tried physical therapy, chiropractic, traction, modified duty and massage to no avail. Drat! On the plus side, I lost 3 more pounds from stress and being on pain killers. Silver lining people - we always need to look for the silver lining!

So tomorrow midday, I will be going to Medical Center of the Rockies and will be having a fusion of the C6/C7 vertebrae tomorrow. I have done my research on what and how they will do what they do, but it is still a new surgery involving nerves and other such delicate body parts that I would rather not have a doctor poking and prodding.

We are not sure at this point if I will be required to stay over night, we are hoping that I will be released to spend the night at home. I am grounded at home for the next two weeks. If you have any great suggestions on movies, books, crafts or TV shows I can watch online, please, please let me know! We will keep you posted on progress and prognosis as we can.

*****

I ran across this blog http://www.gulleygreenhouse.blogspot.com/ when they sent their new weekly email. I know some of you are out of the area, but their blog is totally worth a look-see. They have a great recipes, gardening tips and craft ideas. I love the idea they posted today 'Pounded Flower Prints' and want to try it this week with Mom and Makaela!

*****

Our adoption interview is back on and scheduled for Tuesday. Luckily they decided to do the home visit because we live so far away, but it also works well for me because I can't leave the house! We have a bit more paperwork to do and a lot of interviewing, but we are back on track and hopeful that July 9th is still the 'go live' date for us.