Surgery... again?!

I took a bad fall back in March and wound up with a badly herniated disc and moderately severe stenosis of the C7 nerve root and spinal cord. In English, I fell and hurt my neck, badly. The pressure from the herniated disc is pushing on the nerves that control my left shoulder, arm and hand. It is also pushing on the spinal cord. They did a grip test, 95 pounds of pressure in my right hand (average for women if 78 - I am super woman!) 35 pounds of pressure in my left hand (average for women is 68 - I am wimpy). I have muscle weakness in my arms also - I dropped the cat. They tried the grip test again after traction and I had 95 and 65, so improved but not nearly as much as they expected. Based on my right arm, they would expect my left to be somewhere around 87ish. We have tried physical therapy, chiropractic, traction, modified duty and massage to no avail. Drat! On the plus side, I lost 3 more pounds from stress and being on pain killers. Silver lining people - we always need to look for the silver lining!

So tomorrow midday, I will be going to Medical Center of the Rockies and will be having a fusion of the C6/C7 vertebrae tomorrow. I have done my research on what and how they will do what they do, but it is still a new surgery involving nerves and other such delicate body parts that I would rather not have a doctor poking and prodding.

We are not sure at this point if I will be required to stay over night, we are hoping that I will be released to spend the night at home. I am grounded at home for the next two weeks. If you have any great suggestions on movies, books, crafts or TV shows I can watch online, please, please let me know! We will keep you posted on progress and prognosis as we can.

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I ran across this blog http://www.gulleygreenhouse.blogspot.com/ when they sent their new weekly email. I know some of you are out of the area, but their blog is totally worth a look-see. They have a great recipes, gardening tips and craft ideas. I love the idea they posted today 'Pounded Flower Prints' and want to try it this week with Mom and Makaela!

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Our adoption interview is back on and scheduled for Tuesday. Luckily they decided to do the home visit because we live so far away, but it also works well for me because I can't leave the house! We have a bit more paperwork to do and a lot of interviewing, but we are back on track and hopeful that July 9th is still the 'go live' date for us.

Downtime, Dogs and Provident Providers

We are still patiently waiting for our adoption Case Worker to make first contact with us. It has been a month and a half since we turned in the first set of paperwork and just over one month since we finished and submitted sections 2 and 3. The receptionist keeps telling me that he will be calling us soon. In the mean time, the State had yet another form for us to fill out - same information as the LDS form, only in a different format. I wonder why they have 2 forms instead of just working together and having one. Maybe it is just all part of the challenge to see if we really do want to adopt? I just sigh, and figure that one more set of paperwork is not back breaking.

We took Sky to the vet this morning. Her eyes have a weird blue glow to them and she is starting to run into things. It is very subtle and you have to be looking for it, but she is definitely having trouble seeing. The blue glow started a few months ago and we thought it was just her pupil color. Then it got bigger and her eyes were bloodshot, so I figured it was from the wind. We kept her inside and used soothing drops on her eyes. Then this weekend, Mom came out and I asked her what she thought. We watched Sky carefully, with 5 dogs running around it was hard, and sure enough, she was having trouble seeing... The vet is sending us to a specialist tonight to run some tests and provide a diagnosis. We are fairly certain that she is almost completely blind. She may be able to see shadows, but not much. We will know more tonight. We are so grateful for the great vets we have for our animals and for their expertise. I have faith that everything will work out the way it is supposed to; I just hope that coincides with what I want!

Due to the stress from that and lack of enthusiasm in general, I took today off. It is nice to be home working on adoption stuff, relaxing, and making cinnamon rolls. I wish it was about 20 degrees warmer!

The Church sent this video, Becoming Provident Providers, out about a week or so ago to help us all learn principles of avoiding debt, discerning between needs and wants, and living close to God in order to be provident providers both spiritually and temporally. We feel compelled to share this message with you. It is our sincere hope that we can all work towards self sufficiency, being debt free and becoming provident providers.



***Update on Sky*** She has glaucoma in both eyes and is mostly (98%) blind. She can differentiate some light from dark and at times can see some shadows. We have her on eye drops to keep the pressure in her eyes down, blood pressure pills to regulate blood flow to the optic nerve and fish oil to help regenerate the nerve. She will never see again, but with continued therapy and care, she will live a long life and will, we hope, get to see more shadows to help navigate. She will be going back to the vet on April 20th to check her progress on this medley of drugs; fingers crossed and prayers said; it will be good news! - Side bar - She loves the canned dog food that is used to disguise the pill and fish oil; she is also enjoying extra attention and pampering. Shigom is a bit jealous and Dozer is not smart enough to know what is going on!

Patience is a virtue

What a week! We went from the high 60s to the 20s over the span of a couple of days. I can tell; spring is on the way. The horses are starting to shed - it will be a very hairy spring around the Stout Ranch. We have one month left until kidding season; we bred both does and have bets going to see how many of what we will get. Robert is betting (hoping really) for 2 bucklings. That way we can take them to auction and our herd will not increase! I am betting (hoping really) for 3 babies; 2 doelings and one buckling. I would like to have more options for the does we keep. At this point there are too many variables to guess and making plans seems like a waste of time and energy. We will find out on April 24th! We are still having to be patient - since we have been waiting since November, I think we are doing splendidly!

We planted our seeds for the garden two weeks ago. We start them indoors during early March when it is too cold to put them outside. They will continue to grow in pots on the breakfast table until mid-May when it will be warm enough to put them outside. It is so fun to watch them pop up; small and fragile, struggling towards the light. In mere days they are 2-3 inches tall with big beautiful leaves. Last year, not knowing what I was doings, I over planted on some things and under planted on others. This year, I have a nice variety of everything and if all goes well with the hail and wind, we should have a nice harvest!

I was sitting here watching my seeds and thinking that they could be compared to the parable of the mustard seed and our struggle to increase our faith and share the Gospel. But as I sit here watching these tiny seeds that I planted a few short weeks ago struggle to live and grow I am reminded of our personal seeds and our personal struggles; how we can help each other's seeds to grow and thrive just by being more tolerant and understanding. We each face different struggles as couples and as individuals. We, each of us, has within us a tiny seed that struggles to live and grow and thrive. I don't know your struggles, just as you don't know mine. I also don't know the struggles of the rude man in the grocery line or the lady that cut me off on the freeway. But when I take the time to remember that we each have our own private impurities, challenges and struggles, it makes the small offences of another seem even smaller. How much easier is it then to forgive and uplift each other?!

Empathy by Kelly Miller

When empathy is learned
Our heart to another is turned
As births buds of charity
That we can comfort with clarity

From our own pain we see
And feel with deepened depth
Such that it is the seed
Of love's flower we'll not forget

It seems that all is moving very slowly on the adoption front. We turned in packet 3 almost one month ago and so far, not a word from the Case Worker or even the support staff. I suppose they are very busy and I like to imagine them working fervently on our paperwork round the clock! The reality is that there are several couples in line ahead of us and we will be learning the virtue of patience. Patience will become a dear friend by the time this is all said and done, I just hope I have enough patience to enjoy the ride.

We were talking about the process the other night and we realized (again) that it doesn't really matter how long it takes, our dear child and his/her Mother will be ready and waiting for us when the time is right. We keep having this same epiphany each time we start to get worked up about it. This is our constant struggle, our thought to keep in perspective, our seed that needs to be nurtured...

Chores and the wicked sprinkler

Well our garden this year consists of 6 tomato plants (with very green tomatoes) and two stunted squash plants which we found after we cut down the three foot weeds! I am convinced that they survived because the weeds protected them from the hail and wind and I am hoping the tomatoes ripen before the frost comes, but at the rate they are growing, it might be a while. I anticipate the we will be building a greenhouse next season!

R is great, he is back with his old company and has finished his 'probationary period'. He is back to being their top Foreman and is enjoying the work again. And our health plan starts next week! WOOHOO!

Dogs are all good. Dozer (the bulldog puppy) is just over 1 year and weight 65 pounds. He is getting better at listening and coming when we call but the stubborn bully streak is still very prominent!

We are planning to breed all three goats this year and will be selling all but 1 of the babies. I have come to then conclusion that I can not control who buys the babies or what they are used for (pet vs food) and I am finally OK with that.

Max (my gelding) is still about 75 pounds under weight. We are having some tests done at CSU to find the cause. I fear that if we can figure it out and get some weight on him before winter, he may not make it.

Funny story.

We were outside burning 'goat heads' yesterday. These little buggers are noxious weeds with seed pods that have 1/4 inch thorns (one actually punctured my riding mower tire last years and gave me a flat!). Each small plant can produce hundreds of seeds and they will quickly take over your property. Horrible plants! Anyhow, we were out burning goat heads as they have made the jump from the mail box to the driveway. Logical, as we DRIVE over them and help them spread.

So we were out yesterday afternoon burning weeds with our new weed burner. Did I mention that it was 95* out yesterday while we were burning weeds? I made it from behind the house, down the driveway to the mail box and 1/4 of the way back before my delicate sensibilities started to over heat. Lo and behold, the sprinklers were on at the house! I quick, passed the torch off to R, who was my fire brigade in case of a runaway grass fire, of which I had several, and I went back to the house. I walked through the sprinklers to get a 'mist' and cool off.

Well, about this time I noticed that one of the sprinklers was not sprinkling. Hmm, I am a competent woman, capable of many amazing things, I will fix said sprinkler myself! Excellent idea.

So I bend over the sprinkler and start trying to twist off the top to make it sprinkle. No progress. Ah, Maybe there is gunk inside that needs to be cleaned out!! I twist off the top. A GEYSER of water comes shooting out and hits me square in the face. Very cold water. Quick try to put the top back on. Too much pressure, water shooting 4 feet in the air, I am drenched and choking. Quick, use finger to pug hole. Whew, immediate relief.

Umm... Now I am stuck. Finger on hole, water geyser temporarily staunched, and can't let up finger to fix sprinkler head. I let go of the hole, water spraying everywhere, and run to turn off the sprinklers. Ah, I am brilliant. Now I can fix the sprinkler without getting drenched. I did mention that I was a smart woman, right?

So I, without looking at the sprinkler head in my HAND, walk back over to the 'broken' sprinkler. Well, when you turn off the water, the sprinklers go back into their underground caves for protection from mowers and chewing puppies... So I look and; oh nice, I can't stick my finger in the hole far enough to see what the problem is. And instead of looking at the sprinkler head in my HAND, I walk back over and turn the sprinklers on again so I can figure out what the issue is. Earth to me, the issue is with the piece in your HAND!

As you might imagine it takes the sprinklers a minute to build up pressure and turn on. Meanwhile I am again bent over the broken sprinkler peering into the hole trying to figure out if I broke the system. Why is water not coming out? I can hear it hissing... Oh, there it is. As the GEYSER shoots out and once again hits me in the face...

I am not normally one to admit defeat so easily but I give up. I quit, game over. Quick finger on hole, with one hand put spring back in top and quick screw in place on sprinkler. Look! Still broken and not sprinkling. At this point, who cares? Let R get hit in the face for once. Did I mention that he was burning weeds, watching and laughing the WHOLE time? Guess we have been married long enough that I am not longer a damsel in distress who needs saving. I am now just the competent, capable woman who is wet and can not fix the sprinkler.