Surgery... again?!

I took a bad fall back in March and wound up with a badly herniated disc and moderately severe stenosis of the C7 nerve root and spinal cord. In English, I fell and hurt my neck, badly. The pressure from the herniated disc is pushing on the nerves that control my left shoulder, arm and hand. It is also pushing on the spinal cord. They did a grip test, 95 pounds of pressure in my right hand (average for women if 78 - I am super woman!) 35 pounds of pressure in my left hand (average for women is 68 - I am wimpy). I have muscle weakness in my arms also - I dropped the cat. They tried the grip test again after traction and I had 95 and 65, so improved but not nearly as much as they expected. Based on my right arm, they would expect my left to be somewhere around 87ish. We have tried physical therapy, chiropractic, traction, modified duty and massage to no avail. Drat! On the plus side, I lost 3 more pounds from stress and being on pain killers. Silver lining people - we always need to look for the silver lining!

So tomorrow midday, I will be going to Medical Center of the Rockies and will be having a fusion of the C6/C7 vertebrae tomorrow. I have done my research on what and how they will do what they do, but it is still a new surgery involving nerves and other such delicate body parts that I would rather not have a doctor poking and prodding.

We are not sure at this point if I will be required to stay over night, we are hoping that I will be released to spend the night at home. I am grounded at home for the next two weeks. If you have any great suggestions on movies, books, crafts or TV shows I can watch online, please, please let me know! We will keep you posted on progress and prognosis as we can.

*****

I ran across this blog http://www.gulleygreenhouse.blogspot.com/ when they sent their new weekly email. I know some of you are out of the area, but their blog is totally worth a look-see. They have a great recipes, gardening tips and craft ideas. I love the idea they posted today 'Pounded Flower Prints' and want to try it this week with Mom and Makaela!

*****

Our adoption interview is back on and scheduled for Tuesday. Luckily they decided to do the home visit because we live so far away, but it also works well for me because I can't leave the house! We have a bit more paperwork to do and a lot of interviewing, but we are back on track and hopeful that July 9th is still the 'go live' date for us.

Lifting Burdens: The Atonement of Jesus Christ

Jesus Christ was the only one capable of carrying out the Atonement for all mankind. The only way for us to be saved is for someone else to rescue us. We need someone who can satisfy the demands of justice—standing in our place to assume the burden of the Fall and to pay the price for our sins. Jesus Christ has always been the only one capable of making such a sacrifice.

From before the Creation of the earth, the Savior has been our only hope for "peace in this world, and eternal life in the world to come" (D&C 59:23).

Only He had the power to lay down His life and take it up again. From His mortal mother, Mary, He inherited the ability to die. From His immortal Father, He inherited the power to overcome death. He declared, "As the Father hath life in himself; so hath he given to the Son to have life in himself" (John 5:26).

Only He could redeem us from our sins. God the Father gave Him this power (see Helaman 5:11). The Savior was able to receive this power and carry out the Atonement because He kept Himself free from sin: "He suffered temptations but gave no heed unto them" (D&C 20:22). Having lived a perfect, sinless life, He was free from the demands of justice. Because He had the power of redemption and because He had no debt to justice, he could pay the debt for those who repent.

Jesus's atoning sacrifice took place in the Garden of Gethsemane and on the cross at Calvary. In Gethsemane He submitted to the will of the Father and began to take upon Himself the sins of all people. The Savior continued to suffer for our sins when He allowed Himself to be crucified—"lifted up upon the cross and slain for the sins of the world" (1 Nephi 11:33).

On the cross, He allowed Himself to die. His body was then laid in a tomb until He was resurrected and became "the firstfruits of them that slept" (1 Corinthians 15:20). Through His death and Resurrection, He overcame physical death for us all.

Jesus Christ redeems all people from the effects of the Fall. All people who have ever lived on the earth and who ever will live on the earth will be resurrected and brought back into the presence of God to be judged (see 2 Nephi 2:5–10; Helaman 14:15–17). Through the Savior's gift of mercy and redeeming grace, we will all receive the gift of immortality and live forever in glorified, resurrected bodies.

Although we are redeemed unconditionally from the universal effects of the Fall, we are accountable for our own sins. But we can be forgiven and cleansed from the stain of sin if we "apply the atoning blood of Christ" (Mosiah 4:2). We must exercise faith in Jesus Christ, repent, be baptized for the remission of sins, and receive the gift of the Holy Ghost.

—See True to the Faith (2004), 14–21

Through it all

With all of the animals we have, it seems that one or two are always hurt, sick, or otherwise suffering from some ailment or other.

This the the story over the last few weeks/months:
Sky is still blind; in case you were not aware, glaucoma is not reversible. So she gets eye drops twice daily and blood pressure pill and fish oil in the evening. Being that she is only 6, we have many years to perfect our pill giving and eye dropping. One thing in Sky's credit - she is a whole lot easier to treat than Bella was when she tore her eye lid 4 years ago. Perhaps it has something to do with the 45pound dog vs. 1500 pound horse thing... Hmmm, good food for thought!

Dozer went in to the vet 2 weeks ago for a bad tummy rash. They determined that he is allergic to 'something'. Whatever that something is has yet to be determined. He was on antibiotics and benadryl three times a day for a week. The infection part of the rash is gone but he still has a rash. So Dozer gets benadryl twice daily; not that he minds daily hot dogs or cheese slices. He is up to 56.6 pounds at 2 years old. I hope he stops growing soon, but the vet said to expect another 10-15 pounds. Note to self - start working out again, specifically weight lifting!

Shigom went into the vet 4 months ago after Dozer ran into her and badly bruised her shoulder. Then Max attacked her - Yes, the horse attacked the dog! It was horrible and hences I must share my horror... I had fed Max (grain and hay) and Shigom was sneaking in the stall to eat the grain while I was brushing him. Well, he was occupied and 'Mom' was near so he was minding his manners and being the sweet 2000 pound baby I know him to be. I finished what I was doing and turned to leave. Shigom made one last attempt for a bite and Max reared up and tried to stomp on her. Luckily he missed and just knocked her over. Next thing I knew he had her in his mouth and threw her 6 feet into the air and slammed her against the barn wall. I screamed to distract Max and Shigom was yowling - a sound I have never heard before. I ran in (in hind sight that was not the smartest thing I could do but... Shigom is my sweet, sweet girl) I got Shigom out and we locked the other dogs in the unused goat pen so I could assess the damage. I fully expected a broken back, missing flesh and lots of blood. I prayed from the moment I screamed "God, please let my dog be OK, please let my dog be OK." It was the prayer of a desperate child and that is exactly how I felt. It is nothing short of a miracle and I, still today, stand all amazed - not a mark on her, no broken bones, no blood just a bruise and some swelling. Her limp went away after a few days and then of course, Dozer ran into her again (he is a bit clumsy - think of a bull dozer turning - now you know how he got his name). Now, she is limping again so she gets a pain pill once a day.

Bella punctured her inner thigh and has edema under her belly from getting struck. What happened, you ask? She stepped on a pitch fork and the the handle hit her belly and the tine of the fork punctured her thigh. So the vet came out last night to check her over. $171 later she is fine, a bit sore and getting a betadine rinse twice a day.

We vaccinated all three horses yesterday (this is when we discovered Bella's issue). We checked on them this morning and everyone was fine. Tonight, just in time for dinner, Max started having issues. He was showing neurological issues (stumbling, twitching, eyes rolling, heavy breathing). Luckily he was only having a reaction to the West Nile vaccine and not a major issue. I called our wonderful the vet yet again and we did a phone consult. With hot packs and banamine and butte he pulled out of it just fine.

Where am I headed with all of these part stories? I should have gone to vet school the way I wanted to when I was 11. I may not make any money but I sure would have saved a dollar or two! We are faced with endless crisis and endless worry and endless love for our animals. Through it all - we pray.

*****
We talked yesterday about how being too busy to ride and that perhaps we should sell the horses. We both just looked at each other for a moment to two and then burst out laughing. Knowing us, that is the most ridiculous idea I have ever come up with. Not quite as bad as moving to Alaska, but close. We have recommitted ourselves to living the life we want, kids or not. We live on a farm because we love the space and privacy. There is always something to do (chores) and we enjoy working on building our dream. These are some of the reasons I love our place. This is the land of my heart and the haven of my soul. Through it all - we pray




















Our second adoption interview was cancelled due to a baby being born and placement taking place. At first I was disappointed and heart broken to be pushed into the back seat yet again. But after a family consultation I realized that it is a wonderful thing; how could I have been so selfish as to miss it?! Someone is being reunited with their child! Somewhere two families are becoming one to raise and care for a chosen child of God.

I know our time will come and we will have our time to be that couple. We want so desperately to be parents and to raise and love a child. I hope that our Birth Mother is preparing and realizing that there is a plan for us, someday we will meet and renew a friendship that started long before these present moments. I am so humbled that adoption is a process that we are able to go through and that some way, some how, we will be chosen to be parents to a very special child. I hope our Birth Mother knows that we pray for her daily, even now when our placement is so far off and our paper work is not complete - we pray. Through it all - we pray.

Where ever you are, what ever your circumstance, we love you and will love you the best way we know how. Through it all - we pray