Winter is coming!

Winter is coming, it is well on its way! We had our first frost last week and all of the leaves on our trees have changes color and most have already fallen. It even got so cold that the crack in my windshield completed its trek all the way over to the other side.

'They' are saying that we will have colder than average temperatures this year. I am not sure who 'they' are, but at this point I am starting to believe them. We still have two barns to build before the snow flies. One horse barn for Molly and a stud barn for Nephi. I am thinking that this weekend is the weekend for building.

Since we don't have a fireplace, our furnaces run on propane. Yes, furnaces, plural... One for the house and one for the garage. I am not sure if the one in the garage is more for the dogs, Robert or me. The dogs because their kennel is out there, Robert because part of the garage is his man cave or me because without a man cave, Robert would be in the house and underfoot!!Anyhow, back on track. Propane is pricey and last winter with our furnace set at 65-70 it ran about $250 per month. I know; that is a lot of money. So this year, we are committed to not turing the furnace on until the end of November. As I sit here looking out the window at this:

I am reconsidering my firm position on not turning the furnace on!



 

In the spirit of winter, we got Dozer a new sweater. He doesn't ever get much hair and he gets so cold. Isn't he a cutie?! They had teal, grass green, yellow, pink and orange. Orange was the least offensive, so Bubba got orange. It fits well, but getting it on him is like wrestling with an oiled pig. Whew!

Our Ward is having their annual Spooktacular Halloween party this Saturday from 1-3. I volunteered us to bring firewood for the bonfire, which means we have to go and cannot flake out at the last minute. It will be at the Walpole's ranch, so there will be hay rides a petting zoo, fire, trunk-or-treat and some other fun stuff. This will be our first real Ward activity in almost 2 years. 2 years?! We spent most of 2009 trying to get pregnant and stay pregnant and most of 2010 recovering from neck surgery and yet another miscarriage. Now that we are on the road to recovery and working on getting our lives back, we are excited to get back into it. If only they would make the pews in the chapel more comfortable - then I could sit for longer than 30 minutes and would be able to attend sacrament more often. It has been quite some time since we tried to make it through the whole hour, and this Sunday is time to try again!

We are pretty excited about the Holidays this year. We were talking our plans and decided to do Thanksgiving at our place. We have invited Mom, if she chooses to come, but even if she doesn't, we will be planning and hopefully carrying out a feast! Christmas is going to be spent much like last year, at home with each other enjoying the true meaning of the season. New Year's Eve will be spent celebrating until midnight... or at least 9:30!

The Refiner of Silver

This journey of grief and healing is a private journey; a mountain that I must climb to find true healing and acceptance. Strange as it may sound, I find comfort in knowing that the hill is mine, and only mine to climb. I get to do it at my pace, however I see fit.

Some days I walk through a sunlit forest path. The walking is easy and my burden is light. I know I have traveled far but I am not weary from the journey. The sun warms my skin and the shade cools my brow. I am comforted in knowing that we will see our dear babies again someday; I find sweet joy in the confidence that somewhere out there, our next baby awaits his or her turn to come into our arms, that his or her mother is making choices that will allow that to happen.


On other days I stand surrounded by the mists of despair and look up to the top of the mountain; the things I have yet to feel and overcome; the path that must be followed to be able to embrace our awaiting child with open arms and hearts, and the path seems too much to bear. I feel unworthy and unable to continue. It is these times that I try to remember a few things.



1. The Spirit has guided us to this path toward adoption. We feel the Spirit prompting us each step of the way.

2. He holds us in the palm of his hand, we are not forgotten. He is aware of each thought, each hope and each second of despair. He knows me perfectly and He loves me perfectly. I feel His concern and awareness of me on such an intimate level.

3. Elder Maxwell said it best: "To go to the very edge is possible, of course, only when we believe in an omniscient and omnipotent God. When we understand that all things are present before His eyes and that He knows all things past, present, and future, then we can trust ourselves to Him as we clearly could not to a less than omniscient god who is off somewhere in the firmament doing further research."


Our Missionaries came for dinner last week and Elder Horner shared the following story.
The Refiner of Silver

Malachi 3:3 says: "He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver."

This verse puzzled some women in a Bible study and they wondered what this statement meant about the character and nature of God.

One of the women offered to find out the process of refining silver and get back to the group at their next Bible Study.

That week, the woman called a silversmith and made an appointment to watch him at work. She didn't mention anything about the reason for her interest beyond her curiosity about the process of refining silver.

As she watched the silversmith, he held a piece of silver over the fire and let it heat up. He explained that in refining silver, one needed to hold the silver in the middle of the fire where the flames were hottest as to burn away all the impurities.

The woman thought about God holding us in such a hot spot then she thought again about the verse that says: "He sits as a refiner and purifier of silver."

She asked the silversmith if it was true that he had to sit there in front of the fire the whole time the silver was being refined. The man answered that yes, he not only had to sit there holding the silver, but he had to keep his eyes on the silver the entire time it was in the fire.

If the silver was left a moment too long in the flames, it would be destroyed.

The woman was silent for a moment. Then she asked the silversmith, "How do you know when the silver is fully refined?"

He smiled at her and answered, "Oh, that's easy - when I see my reflection in it."

If today you are feeling the heat of the fire, remember that God has His eye on you and will keep watching you until He sees His reflection in you.